Post Interview Jitters

Have you ever thought you had a really good job interview to only end up never hearing from the employers ever again? 

It happens time and time again to me. It is a cycle of hope and disappointment. Leading up to and after the interview, I get so hopeful and let myself imagine what it would be like to have that job. I imagine my life when I have this job.

I prepare as well as I know how to for the interview. I answer all of the questions I can possibly think of that they would ask me. I search others up on the internet. I research tips for that type of interview, like how in a Skype interview you should have a bare background behind you so as not to distract the interviewer. I practice giving my handshake and keeping eye contact for in person interviews. I make myself smile while talking on the phone, even though they can't see me, just for the change in tone it gives. I come up with questions to ask the interviewer, with the aid of trusty old google. And of course, I research the company and the company atmosphere all over the interview and through any other sources I can find.

I do all of this, and then I go into the interview. I feel calm with just an edge of nervousness that never seems to go away. I feel as if I am answering the questions pretty well, as best as I can. I come out feeling pretty good, satisfied even. I feel like I showed them the best of me, and I learned more about the job and if I want it. They even told me they would call me up either way and let me know, at the end of next week.

Time keeps on flying by. I monitor my e-mail, keep my phone close by, but there are no e-mails or phone calls. I start to second guess my answers, maybe that answer actually showed a negative light. The given date comes and goes, and still I haven't heard anything. I still hold out some hope though. They could have gotten busy. There may have been a lot of people to interview. My doubtful feelings come back, and I run a magnifying glass over every memory I have from my interview. I think, I will hear in the next couple of days.

Sometimes, I do, but it is the times when I never hear back that I wonder "what happened?" They didn't even call me or tell me like they told me they would. What went wrong? I obviously didn't get the job. But, maybe they haven't made a decision yet, maybe I will still get a call. The anticipation is there when I check my e-mail, when I see a missed call on my phone or the phone rings. The word never comes, but I still hope...

Then I think, should I phone them and just ask what happened to the interview process. My search on the internet says it is okay to contact the employer after the interview if they said they were going to, but don't.

The pit in my stomach gets bigger when I think of phoning them after all of these days of waiting by my computer and phone. Why phone them? It is just like when after your first date, he says he'll call you, but he never does. You text him and call him only for him to say, "I'm busy that day" or "I'm seeing someone else". But just like that first date story, I think about what would happen if I just called.

And eventually, either way, I move on and continue down the tunnel of job applications and interviews again.

* Picture from: http://media.thedailytouch.com/2013/10/waiting-for-the-phone-to-ring.jpg

My Life Since October 2013

I have come to the conclusion, that posting updates about my life for my friends near and far is going to be another goal for this somewhat neglected blog.

What I have been up to since the blogs I wrote in October 2013:

1) At the end of November, we adopted two kittens that were left out in the cold to defend for themselves in the neighbourhood. Welcome Merlin (left) and Tulip (right). The cats are now a bit bigger, and have both been fixed.

2) I got engaged on December 15th 2014 to my one and only Marty Wopereis. We are in the process of finalizing the reception.

3) I have worked as a facilitator at Trails Youth Initiatives for a weekend every month.

4) Got my first pair of downhill skis for Christmas, and worked hard on my skiing skills. Went to Blue Mountain, Whiteface, Glen Eden and of course Chicopee.

5) Completed my second ABQ- Junior Division

6) Extended my volunteer hours 

I am now also known as Bacon Owl the Brownie Leader (the kids named me) 

A Tutor in a local literacy program 

Helper in grade 3/4 and 5/6 classes at a local elementary school for two afternoons a week 

7) Did some odd jobs 

Counsellor for March Break Camp at Doe 

Helped out my mom 

8) Oh and finally some job related news: 

Got a job lifeguarding 

Had 3 interviews in the outdoor educator field last week that I am waiting to hear back about 

There were also a lot more little things going on in life, so I guess things never stop happening in life. I look forward to the future. Hopefully I will continue to update my blog a bit more.... hahahaha 

My Experiences with the Unemployment Blues

"Creeping out of the Winter Blues"

I unintentionally left my blog unattended for the winter months. I kept on thinking about how I should write a new entry, but the cycle of thinking about writing, procrastinating, and not doing it followed me until now. I have fortunately been able to break this cycle now and want to share my trials from this winter with you.

My lack of ability to write a blog entry this winter is only one thing that I found myself unable to do. I found myself stuck in the winter blues, unable to move forward. I felt stuck and unsure of what my future would hold. I spent the winter months haphazardly applying to jobs, after having already given up on my ability to get a job or even really knowing what I want to do career-wise in my life.

I can't even begin to describe my life as an unemployed person this past winter. It was like I was walking through molasses, unable to move anywhere. In my mind, the best way to describe my unemployed life is by saying that the amount of free time I have is ridiculous, especially since I have been the most unproductive I have probably been ever.

Thoughts my unemployed self likes to think:

1) No one wants me (Not True- it may just seem that way at times)
2) I am hopeless
3) Where did all of my schooling, qualifications and everything that everyone said were necessary really get me?
4) Is my whole life going to be life this???
5) I am a useless wreck who doesn't even need to get changed out of my pyjamas or get out of bed!

All of the above thoughts spun around and around my brain during the past several months. I couldn't get rid of them they were all there, like a shadow that never leaves no matter how much I tried to reassure myself that:

1) I am a good person
2) I have a lot going for me (i.e. not in debt, friends & family love me, schooling, etc.)
3) I will grow and learn from this experience
4) It is not that bad- people are a lot worse off then me
5) Life is amazing

It was this back and forth between my depressed side and optimistic side that seesawed with my emotions all winter. The thoughts in my head just go louder and louder. It was hard not to get stuck beating myself up day after day after day.

I wish that I had written more when I was truly in the depths of despair, so that I could truly paint the full picture of that time, but it isn't so. All I can say is that it felt like I had hit a brick wall, where I would be filled with hope one minute and crying about how hopeless my life was the next.

I can safely say that I am now safely on my way out of the almost complete darkness. The end of winter and a few job interviews/ job offers helped with my change of spirit.

I am realizing all that I have in my life to be thankful for, and what all I accomplished during those dreary months. I appreciate that I am in no way on the route to having my whole life figured out, but I don't think anyone has their life completely figured out or knows exactly where their life journey is taking them.

My winter hibernation has taught me a few things like:

1) Employment isn't the be all and end all. After all of the questions from inquiring relatives and friends, it may seem like a job is all that matters in life, but really everyone is unemployed at some time or other. There are other things in life like snuggling with cats, waiting for those who are employed to get home from work, and procrastinating that are very enjoyable tasks after all.

2) My worth isn't measured in my job. After all, I am good company and available most of the time. I can volunteer a lot, as my calendar is empty. That is until volunteering and job applications filled it up. I do have lots of qualifications that will help me get a job.

3) I am bitter about my circumstances, but hopefully it will all work out. I guess that is the key. No one wants to be unemployed- at least I would think those people were crazy if they did. At least, my employment status can only improve from here on out.

Finally, for all to see- here is a look into the future (which let's be honest, no one can really predict...).

Landscapes and nature tend to put life into focus for me, so I think this picture is a good fit. It is a sunset from the year 4 canoe trip I led for Trails Youth Initiatives last summer.

Ontario Children's Outdoor Charter

The newly developed Ontario Children's Outdoor Charter coincides well with my reading of Richard Louv's "Last Child in the Woods" (yes I am still reading away). 

Louv's belief that every child needs to have a connection with the outdoors is reinforced in the Charter's mantra that all children should participate in certain outdoor activities.

The proclamation that the Charter makes is that,

In Ontario, every child should
have the opportunity to: 

Follow a trail
Explore a park
Harvest something to eat
Swim in a lake
Paddle a canoe
Play in the snow
Build an outdoor fort
Visit a farm
Camp under the stars
Go fishing
Observe plants and wildlife
…Or create an outdoor adventure

I believe that it's a pretty comprehensive list, when it all comes down to it. I have vivid memories of completing all of the items on that list as a child including fishing with my grandma early in the morning at the cottage, sleeping under the stars in my backyard, hiking the boardwalks at Chesney Conservation Area and stealthily paddling the canoe to catch a glimpse of loon up close. Indeed, I continue to do many of these activities today (as my pictures from my hike this morning show).

Despite how comprehensive the list is, there are some nature activities that had a profound affect on me when I was a child that are not on the list.

The first item is: climbing trees.

My neighbourhood friends and I climbed the tree in my front yard religiously until the day that the city trimmed its branches, and we were no longer able to climb it. I think that climbing this tree brought me closer to my friends, closer to the nature in my yard and gave me fond memories of eating the trees leaves dipped in peanut butter (I was in the Parent Trap phase, where I wanted to test out what all tasted good with peanut butter besides Oreos).

The second is: sitting around a campfire cooking s'mores and listening to the bullfrogs croak and the crickets sing.

I can imagine that some of you may also have some favourite childhood nature activities not mentioned on this list. What are they? Are you going to do those activities with your children and grandchildren (or have you already passed the glories of these activities on to your next of kin?)

In the end, I suppose that these items we are thinking of that are missing from the list are probably included in the category: "create an outdoor adventure," but I think that it is always good to think back on our nature explorations as a kid. I hope that all kids will be able to look back on their nature experiences with fondness when they grow up.

-Susannah
------------------------

From my walk this morning at the Woodside National Historic Site:

It was my first time there, and it is a nice little treasure where William Lyon Mackenzie King grew up. I was amazed at all of the little wandering trails, benches and nicely incorporated human elements (i.e. the 10th Prime Minister's childhood house and a gazebo). There is a lot of nature on a smaller area of land that still allows for a nature escape without hiking very far. I want to return when the house is open for visitors (I am a history buff).


Find out more about the Ontario Children's Outdoor Charter at http://news.ontario.ca/mnr/en/2013/10/celebrating-the-new-ontario-childrens-outdoor-charter.html

Getting Back to Nature

[image from: http://eartheasy.com/bookreview_Last_Child.jpg]

During my undergraduate career, Richard Louv's "Last Child in the Woods," was continuously recommended as a must read for environmentalists. It wasn't until now that I finally found a copy at the library and cracked open the spine, and started reading. I am very grateful that I did start reading it, as it has been very insightful so far and makes me realize why I did a degree in Environmental Studies in the first place.

Over the past few months, I have been wondering about my life choices and whether or not I made the right ones, as I am amidst the world of the unemployed. The world where self-deprecation, self-pity and depression are rampant.

Today, I decided to make my connection to nature stronger by venturing out for a hike on my own. I wish I did things like this more often, and really I should. I proclaim to be a nature lover and have led canoe trips for many-many summers, but I still sometimes find the pull of the television and computer keeping me indoors.

Well, today I went hiking, and I am glad that I did. My senses were rejuvenated. I didn't need to take the nap that I thought I would- since I was awake since 6am with no particular agenda. I was inspired with the idea of volunteering to run outdoor programming for local schools. And many other ideas to help use my time more meaningfully, including going for a hike everyday (whether alone or with friends).

Speaking about living a meaningful life, despite having an amazing walk and being so happy that I was taking it, the longer I walked, the stronger this nagging sensation in my chest kept on saying, "Shouldn't I get back so I can apply to more jobs, don't I need to be doing this..." My everlasting mantra to do better kept on ticking.

One thing that I have learned from Richard Louv is that prioritizing nature in our lives is difficult, but necessary. I am going to commit myself to further connecting to nature in my urban environment by going for a hike daily, ran or shine.

This goal may be a little too optimistic, but it is better to hope for more than to expect less, right?

I hope that you get out hiking yourself!


Taking a hike for now,

Susannah

(Beautiful hiking in Minnesota, 2012)

New Blog Update

Why the New Blog? 

I decided to move my blog from tumblr to blogger, just because I couldn't do what I wanted to with the tumblr format (or at least figure out how to do it without buying a custom template). Instead, I moved over to blogger, which I think will work better for me.

I moved my blog entries and kept the same name (Self Sightings), so it should be the same thing.

I hope that you like it, too.

10 Things I have done since I Graduated from Teacher's College

I have been busy...

Part of the reason why I wanted to start writing a blog was to share my journey of finding a career as a teacher (and commit myself to this mission). I graduated with my Bachelor in Education from Lakehead University in June, and have since been giving myself a break, while applying for jobs. 

So far since graduating from Teacher’s college with teachables in Environmental Science and English at the Intermediate/ Senior level, I have: 

1. Taken my Intermediate Division, Geography ABQ

 [My final project for the course, creating an interdisciplinary unit. I did mine on the theme of moving. The picture is  of the title page.]

2. Cared for my grandmother, who broke her leg

3. Obtained my Ontario Certified Teacher (OCT) designation. You can now find me under “find a teacher” on the OCT website: http://www.oct.ca/findateacher/memberinfo?memberid=647228

4. Chaperoned a 15-day canoe trip for Grey Highlands Secondary School- where I did my second teaching placement 

5. Went on a trip to Costa Rica with my boyfriend (who got a black eye while white water 

rafting)

6. Volunteered for Dundas Street United’s Vacation Bible School

7. Worked for Trails Youth Initiatives, where I led two canoe trips. I will continue working with one of the groups for a weekend every month during the school year. 

8. Went on a five day backpacking trip in Algonquin Park & Completed my first mountain bike race (Paul's Dirty Enduro 30 km)

9. Have had one interview for a Section 23 Aboriginal Studies job, which unfortunately, I didn’t get. It put many smiles on my face to be given an interview. As a side note, I had originally been given an interview, which was cancelled and rescheduled because I wasn’t on the board’s occasional teaching list. I am happy to have had the experience, as it gave me hope for a future in the teaching profession. 

10. And of course, I am applying for  jobs, vigorously improving my resume, cover letter and job hunting techniques and awaiting another interview to come my way 

  

There have been times in the past 5 months where all I have wanted is any job, but I think my desire to have a job related to teaching is rekindling.

My end goal is to teach in the traditional classroom, but at the moment I am aiming for a job tutoring, to get on a supply list or any other education related job. There are probably so many education related jobs that could be perfect for me that I am totally unaware of. 

Like usual, the key is to keep my eyes on the prize, live my life to the fullest, and believe in myself.

Until next time,

Susannah 

[Taken from my original blog: http://selfsightings.tumblr.com/ written on October 17, 2013]