Post Interview Jitters

Have you ever thought you had a really good job interview to only end up never hearing from the employers ever again? 

It happens time and time again to me. It is a cycle of hope and disappointment. Leading up to and after the interview, I get so hopeful and let myself imagine what it would be like to have that job. I imagine my life when I have this job.

I prepare as well as I know how to for the interview. I answer all of the questions I can possibly think of that they would ask me. I search others up on the internet. I research tips for that type of interview, like how in a Skype interview you should have a bare background behind you so as not to distract the interviewer. I practice giving my handshake and keeping eye contact for in person interviews. I make myself smile while talking on the phone, even though they can't see me, just for the change in tone it gives. I come up with questions to ask the interviewer, with the aid of trusty old google. And of course, I research the company and the company atmosphere all over the interview and through any other sources I can find.

I do all of this, and then I go into the interview. I feel calm with just an edge of nervousness that never seems to go away. I feel as if I am answering the questions pretty well, as best as I can. I come out feeling pretty good, satisfied even. I feel like I showed them the best of me, and I learned more about the job and if I want it. They even told me they would call me up either way and let me know, at the end of next week.

Time keeps on flying by. I monitor my e-mail, keep my phone close by, but there are no e-mails or phone calls. I start to second guess my answers, maybe that answer actually showed a negative light. The given date comes and goes, and still I haven't heard anything. I still hold out some hope though. They could have gotten busy. There may have been a lot of people to interview. My doubtful feelings come back, and I run a magnifying glass over every memory I have from my interview. I think, I will hear in the next couple of days.

Sometimes, I do, but it is the times when I never hear back that I wonder "what happened?" They didn't even call me or tell me like they told me they would. What went wrong? I obviously didn't get the job. But, maybe they haven't made a decision yet, maybe I will still get a call. The anticipation is there when I check my e-mail, when I see a missed call on my phone or the phone rings. The word never comes, but I still hope...

Then I think, should I phone them and just ask what happened to the interview process. My search on the internet says it is okay to contact the employer after the interview if they said they were going to, but don't.

The pit in my stomach gets bigger when I think of phoning them after all of these days of waiting by my computer and phone. Why phone them? It is just like when after your first date, he says he'll call you, but he never does. You text him and call him only for him to say, "I'm busy that day" or "I'm seeing someone else". But just like that first date story, I think about what would happen if I just called.

And eventually, either way, I move on and continue down the tunnel of job applications and interviews again.

* Picture from: http://media.thedailytouch.com/2013/10/waiting-for-the-phone-to-ring.jpg

My Life Since October 2013

I have come to the conclusion, that posting updates about my life for my friends near and far is going to be another goal for this somewhat neglected blog.

What I have been up to since the blogs I wrote in October 2013:

1) At the end of November, we adopted two kittens that were left out in the cold to defend for themselves in the neighbourhood. Welcome Merlin (left) and Tulip (right). The cats are now a bit bigger, and have both been fixed.

2) I got engaged on December 15th 2014 to my one and only Marty Wopereis. We are in the process of finalizing the reception.

3) I have worked as a facilitator at Trails Youth Initiatives for a weekend every month.

4) Got my first pair of downhill skis for Christmas, and worked hard on my skiing skills. Went to Blue Mountain, Whiteface, Glen Eden and of course Chicopee.

5) Completed my second ABQ- Junior Division

6) Extended my volunteer hours 

I am now also known as Bacon Owl the Brownie Leader (the kids named me) 

A Tutor in a local literacy program 

Helper in grade 3/4 and 5/6 classes at a local elementary school for two afternoons a week 

7) Did some odd jobs 

Counsellor for March Break Camp at Doe 

Helped out my mom 

8) Oh and finally some job related news: 

Got a job lifeguarding 

Had 3 interviews in the outdoor educator field last week that I am waiting to hear back about 

There were also a lot more little things going on in life, so I guess things never stop happening in life. I look forward to the future. Hopefully I will continue to update my blog a bit more.... hahahaha 

My Experiences with the Unemployment Blues

"Creeping out of the Winter Blues"

I unintentionally left my blog unattended for the winter months. I kept on thinking about how I should write a new entry, but the cycle of thinking about writing, procrastinating, and not doing it followed me until now. I have fortunately been able to break this cycle now and want to share my trials from this winter with you.

My lack of ability to write a blog entry this winter is only one thing that I found myself unable to do. I found myself stuck in the winter blues, unable to move forward. I felt stuck and unsure of what my future would hold. I spent the winter months haphazardly applying to jobs, after having already given up on my ability to get a job or even really knowing what I want to do career-wise in my life.

I can't even begin to describe my life as an unemployed person this past winter. It was like I was walking through molasses, unable to move anywhere. In my mind, the best way to describe my unemployed life is by saying that the amount of free time I have is ridiculous, especially since I have been the most unproductive I have probably been ever.

Thoughts my unemployed self likes to think:

1) No one wants me (Not True- it may just seem that way at times)
2) I am hopeless
3) Where did all of my schooling, qualifications and everything that everyone said were necessary really get me?
4) Is my whole life going to be life this???
5) I am a useless wreck who doesn't even need to get changed out of my pyjamas or get out of bed!

All of the above thoughts spun around and around my brain during the past several months. I couldn't get rid of them they were all there, like a shadow that never leaves no matter how much I tried to reassure myself that:

1) I am a good person
2) I have a lot going for me (i.e. not in debt, friends & family love me, schooling, etc.)
3) I will grow and learn from this experience
4) It is not that bad- people are a lot worse off then me
5) Life is amazing

It was this back and forth between my depressed side and optimistic side that seesawed with my emotions all winter. The thoughts in my head just go louder and louder. It was hard not to get stuck beating myself up day after day after day.

I wish that I had written more when I was truly in the depths of despair, so that I could truly paint the full picture of that time, but it isn't so. All I can say is that it felt like I had hit a brick wall, where I would be filled with hope one minute and crying about how hopeless my life was the next.

I can safely say that I am now safely on my way out of the almost complete darkness. The end of winter and a few job interviews/ job offers helped with my change of spirit.

I am realizing all that I have in my life to be thankful for, and what all I accomplished during those dreary months. I appreciate that I am in no way on the route to having my whole life figured out, but I don't think anyone has their life completely figured out or knows exactly where their life journey is taking them.

My winter hibernation has taught me a few things like:

1) Employment isn't the be all and end all. After all of the questions from inquiring relatives and friends, it may seem like a job is all that matters in life, but really everyone is unemployed at some time or other. There are other things in life like snuggling with cats, waiting for those who are employed to get home from work, and procrastinating that are very enjoyable tasks after all.

2) My worth isn't measured in my job. After all, I am good company and available most of the time. I can volunteer a lot, as my calendar is empty. That is until volunteering and job applications filled it up. I do have lots of qualifications that will help me get a job.

3) I am bitter about my circumstances, but hopefully it will all work out. I guess that is the key. No one wants to be unemployed- at least I would think those people were crazy if they did. At least, my employment status can only improve from here on out.

Finally, for all to see- here is a look into the future (which let's be honest, no one can really predict...).

Landscapes and nature tend to put life into focus for me, so I think this picture is a good fit. It is a sunset from the year 4 canoe trip I led for Trails Youth Initiatives last summer.